I have nine beautiful, wonderful people who subscribe to my blog– and a whole lot of spammers trying to comment on my blog.

What do the spam comments say?

Well, that’s the interesting part– they try to use flattery (“This is an excellent blog, I’m sharing this with all of my friends!”) in order to make me think, “Golly jee wiz, somebody loves me!” and approve their comment, which includes an advertisement for shoes, sunglasses, or penis enhancement equipment.

It’s actually kind of freaky that spam has advanced to this point– because it took me a while to figure out what was going on with all of the bizarre flattery (seriously, the “You are a great blogger, this is an excellent website stuff!” was definitely weirding me out)– and I had to spend a long time sorting through comments to find the patterns in the spam.

Two comments made it through my website’s spam filter, and I was able to remove them.

I didn’t realize spam would be something I would have to watch out for– and maybe this is why some authors choose not to let people comment on their websites. Because some authors do, and others don’t, but I like the ones who do. So I’ll be watching out for spam in the future, now that I know what to look for

Because spam really does feel that psychotic, doesn’t it?

I’m so glad I don’t spend my precious moments of life on earth creating spam.

Of course, as soon as I say that, author-me says, “Why don’t you put a spam-maker in one of your books? If everybody hates spam, wouldn’t a spam-maker be a compelling character in a novel? Either as a villain, an anti-hero, a misunderstood misanthrope, or simply someone to push the reader’s buttons?”

So if anyone wants to take that idea, and write a spam-maker into his/her next book, you have my blessing. Spam is a universally hated thing, and there’s no shortage of people making the stuff. I’ll vote you make the character a villain. A complex character, for sure, but there is just something so appealing to me as a reader that this douchebag spam-maker be a villain. A Vader costume might also be a nice touch.